When I started this fiction series, I didn't really expect it to be that effective. I thought maybe one or two people would be tricked for a split second, then quickly realize I was full of it, and have a laugh or two.
Instead, I had an Inbox full of emails that expressed heartfelt condolences for my loss, and exhibited genuine shock at my ability to be candid about such personal things. I sort of felt like a jerk responding with "Guess you missed the fiction tag."
But this is life, right? Mix-ups happen, and the results can be interesting even when they get a little murky. My only fear is that my friends might think I take their genuine concern for me too lightly, and that somehow, that makes them think I'm not offering them the respect that they deserve.
Actually, right now I'm in pretty hot water. It's probably foolish of me to write about it, because it may just make things worse. I knew that maybe there would be some ambiguity about whether this stuff was fact or fiction for people reading my blog, but I didn't anticipate anyone hearing this story third party through the grapevine.
Late last night, I get a call from my friend John. He's all stressed out and you can tell he's walking on eggshells for some reason.
"Hey buddy, hows it going?" "Not bad. I can't remember the last time you've called me, what's up""Oh.... Pete told me what happened with your girl man, that's fucked up." silence
I tried to figure out how to respond. A thought flashed back to an email I got that was wondering where the Metta was in all of this. I still don't really know how to explain it, but 'it's there somewhere'. I tried to explain it all to John, and his reaction was proof that I've not found a good way to justify what I'm doing here:
"You mean, you hoped that people would get all worked up reading this shit? Man, I can't believe you. You've done some messed up stuff before, but this takes the cake. Fuck you man, don't even talk to me"click
Of my friends, I can safely say that John is one of the least interested in the arts, and it didn't really surprise me that he didn't see any beauty or truth in this writing of mine, even if it just barely survives in the shadow of all the lies and complications. What did surprise me was that I was so capable of writing something that effected so many of my friends in such a serious way...
Especially when this is still fiction. Sure, there is some truth hidden in here, but these words are nothing more than a story, designed to entertain and impact. I hope that this is fun to read, once you're in on the joke.
Though these weird quasi-fictional posts may be lacking Metta, they certainly have no shortage of Meta. You see, I do have a friend in the building that I sometimes flirt with a bit, mostly for fun, but also because if she ever presented me with the opportunity to take things more seriously, I doubt I'd shy away.
She's been enjoying my writing, and that's part of what makes me keep it up. It's funny how fact and fiction are incr
easingly melting the more I push on with this. I woke up this morning to a little sheet of paper slipped under my door that said:8 5 12 12 5
Are you helle confused yet? I am, but since this is so exciting, I can't wait to see what happens next!
